I have Great Coworkers that try to think of ways to Console Me

Cut and Pasted from an email I received from my coworker. She says, Hi Crystal: Go to the bottom and open this but NOT in front of clients as you'll end up crying. Sandra M...

This is one of the kindest things I've ever seen. I have no way to know who sent it, but there is a beautiful soul working in the dead letter office of the US Postal Service.

Our 14 year old dog, Abbey died last month. The day after she died, my 4 year old daughter Meredith was crying that when Abbey got to heaven, God wouldn't recognize her, could
we send him a letter? I told her that I thought we could, so she could and dictated these words:

Dear God:

Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday and is with you in heaven. I miss her very much. I am happy that you let me have her as my dog even though she got sick.I hope you will play with her. She likes to play with balls and to swim. I am sending a picture of her so when you see her You will know that she is my dog.

I really miss her.

Love,

Meredith

We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith and addressed it to God/Heaven... Then Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps on the front of the envelope to get the letter all the way to Heaven.

That afternoon, I drove Meredith to the Post office and watched her drop it in a letter box.. A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet. I told her that I was certain He had.Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, 'To Meredith , ' in an unfamiliar hand. Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, 'When a Pet Dies.' Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey & Meredith and this note:

Dear Meredith:

Abbey arrived safely in heaven. Having the picture was a big help. I recognized Abbey right away... Abbey isn't sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me just like it stays in your heart. Abbey loved being your dog. Since we don't need our bodies in heaven, I don't have any pockets to keep your picture in, so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you

to keep and have something to remember Abbey by...Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you. I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much.By the way, I'm easy to find. I am wherever there is love.

Love,

God

Stop the "replay" button!

I can't stop this stupid replay! Every SPARE moment that I'm not doing anything, I replay... I can't do this to myself.

Do you know how many scenario's I've gone over in my head... I've questioned myself almost to death; 'was it "subconscious?". What the heck do you mean??? I loved him!!!! Terribly! I was watch them play with love for hours! It made me so happy to see him gnaw on rope for EVER.

Yes, he frustrated the crap out of me at times... but never! EVER! Would I want something like this for him.

You know what it is? I foresaw this happening, and it is because of that forshadowing that I feel like I "willed" this to happen. But I didn't! I promise. I saw this happening because he was ALWAYS the one to run off, but never in that direction! He would always run left!!! Not right!!!! and he would NEVER run THAT far! My goodness! Why? God, please stop the replay!

I know that Milo is in a better place, and I am confident I smelled him with me this morning :-)
I smelled his "wet doggie" smell. Am I losing my mind?

Why didn't I run after him. Why did I take my time? Because I didn't think! And for that, I will feel guilt! I didn't think he would run ONTO Hwy 10! I didn't think he would leave me... and when I chase him, like all dog owners know, they run farther... they think you're playing chase with them.. and I didn't want that.. and I didn't think! I didn't think!!!! I'm sorry Milo... I'm sorry Pugsley, for losing your brother, and I'm sorry MarcAnto for taking your baby away.

I didn't say a proper goodbye to him that morning. He was outside in the backyard, I was running late to work, I saw him staring at me from behind the sliding door, and I waived. I thought twice...I thought twice! About opening the door and kissing him goodbye! Why didn't I listen to my head. I thought, oh, well then he'd want to come with me, and I'd have to struggle to leave and make him stay, and I rationalized that Marc would bring him in... God, I am so sorry... at least I got to say hello to him for a split second before he escaped the house...he made it all the way to the other side!!!! And he died coming back to his Mommy... I am so sorry.... I'm proud of him for not getting hit crossing... but seriously.... God...please forgive me... I am so sorry Milo... for everything I didn't do....please... forgive me!


All...please forgive me. God, please give me peace... please....

Rest In Peace Baby Milo. Feb 20 '08 - May 13 '09

I hate days like these. The days where it seems so...normal and then your world gets turned upside down.

Tonight, one of my babies passed away.

the day started like any other, I woke up to my boys fighting on my bed. Actually, I awoke from a migraine - potentially from the stress Milo gave me at doggie training yesterday. I got dressed and left for work, waiving at Milo who was in the backyard. I finished my day at work, stopped at the grocery store to grab a quick lasagna for dinner tonight and some other things and drove home.

Our plan: throw the lasagna in the oven for over an hour, and spend all of tonight working with the boys. Their doggie graduation is in two weeks and they're not fully ready - especially Milo, who played me for a fool yesterday hehehe.

What happened instead? I opened the door and Milo pushed his way threw. This happens somewhat often... I called for him, tried the whole "stay" thin, and off Milo went to the end of the driveway. I was calm, said "Milo come" like we were taught, he looked at me and came! I was so happy (since he never does that). I said "good come Milo!", patted his head, and then whipped from my grasp and ran again, across the street to Robin's house. "Okay" I thought, no biggie... "Milo, come"..."Milo, stay"...nada... he ran.

I called Marc to get the whistle...Milo ran towards Highway 10 - never ever does he run this way. Now I start to panic, I call for him, he's run out of sight, I'm hustling but not running, but I know my dog well enough to know he doesn't like being chased. I toot the whistle and wait anxiously. I see some neighbors and ask if they've seen him. They say no, which only means he went ON TO the highway. I lift my head only to see him ACROSS the hwy on the other side.

MY heart is racing...what do I do? How do I get to him without him doing anything stupid???? What do I do...I attempt to cross the hwy... against the light... I raise my hand for the cars to stop and just then, Milo sees his mommy...I tell him "stay!" I hold up my hand like I'm supposed to!!!! He doesn't stay, he runs towards me!!!! I stop two lanes! But the lane closest to him doesn't see me...or him.. He gets to the median, steps off the curb and then..... my heart stops as I hear the thump... I look.... my baby... my poor baby, laying, lifeless... at the side of the curb....

I run to him...lift him up and cradle him..."Milo... why....why....".

"Oh, Milo...my poor boy, my poor baby"

Cradled, gone on impact...lifeless....my baby.

I carry him across the street....cradled and held as tight as possible to me. Marc sees me..."No!!! Milo!!! Why????" I give him to Marc, rub his back and assure him, he didn't suffer one bit.

I call my Mom, tell her what happened; she'll be right over. I call the vet and ask them what I should do... they tell me to come. We debate whether to show Pugsley.... we sit in the car, cradling Milo...thinking what's best for the baby left behind? We call Sherri, if anyone will know, it's her...
we speak to one of her people and they guide us, "get Pugsley out of the room; lay Milo down in their sleeping quarters, cover him slightly. When this is done, let Pugsley back in and allow him to assess the body. He needs to know, and he needs to grieve"

We did what they said, Puglsey sniffed, observed... said his own good bye, and then we were off to the doctor's. We got there, said our good byes again, removed his collar... and departed.

Could I have done something different. Why didn't I hold him to the ground when he came back the first time, why did I let him out? Why didn't I chase him? Why did he run that way? Why was his little life cut so short? Was he happy? Did he love us? Did he know he was loved? Does he know he will be missed?

This I know: we loved him terribly. He added to my life. He added to me. He taught me patience, and perseverance, unconditional love after ruining so many material - USELESS things. Someone that entered our lives for such a short period has taught Marc and I so VERY VERY MUCH!!!!

Rest in Peace Baby, we love you!

Love,
Mommy, Daddy and Pugsley

The Adventures of My Two Puggles: Class III

I've gotta admit, I don't feel we prepared well enough for this whole come thing. But because I had a bad taste in my mouth due to the yelling at me all last week... I wasn't willing to care all too much. It's not that we didn't practice AT ALL, we did! But I wasn't as stressed as I had been with the stay.

So we get to class and learn that we will be working with the "whistle", another form of come but more intense, and somewhat more important. The whistle is to be used during intense situations when you are trying to flag your pup from some distance. This is the one and only time you are allowed to bait the pups with food. And this is not just any food, this is food straight out of the fridge, the real deal type of food. So we start with introducing the whistle to the pups by Sherri walking around us and us saying "Whistle Pugsley! Whistle!" whilst letting them smell the very yummy treats we have ready for them - thereby trying to get them excited. And then we start with a small distance. Sherri holds the boy, I let him smell the food again, i run to Lynn, the blower of said whistle, Lynn starts whistling and I start yelling "whistle pugsley, whistle!". This time around, Puglsey listens, and slowly runs straigh towards me." "GOOD WHISTLE PUGLSEY! GOOD BOY!!!!!" over, and over, and over again. Have I mentioned we do this one at a time?

So the next time around, we grow a little further away, and the third time, we've grown further away and hide behind a bridge! What a cunundrum! I call for Pugsley, who, decides to ignore me completely! Instead of coming (remember, ONE AT A TIME), he decides to wander around, go towards the fence, smell the grass and... lift his leg to pee!!! Oh my dear! Let me tell you how wonderful of a feeling that was!

Anyhoo, he decided to focus and come and that was the end of that. What about Milo? I think he was fine, I was too embarassed to really pay much attention to how my husband was doing with trouble maker :-) Afterwards, we went back in and learned the "down" command. Now, if there was anytime my heart was to break, this would be it. The down command went like this:
1. Lift your right hand straight up in the air and stomp your right foot simultaneously and command "DOWN". If that doesn't work;
2. bring your left foot to meet your right and say "ah-ah" - which is the generic command that we've been taught for "no" since the beginning - and also their final warning. If that doesn't work;
3. Cross your right foot over your left, and step on the lead as close to their neck as possible, thereby forcing his head to the floor and waiting patiently for the rest of his body to submit and come down...

WOW! This was intense. I have never known dogs to pull tantrums... until now. Pugsley screamed like I was beating him (as did Milo), he yelped, he twisted and turned like he was being pulled behind a truck... he attemped to pull back out of his collar (which Milo successfully did twice over) and he atempted summersaults...yup! Funny when you think about it but, not easy for mommy to do. Luckily, I had a graduate who came back as a mentor. This person taught me patience. He taught me how to do things right, and by the end... I was good. So good in fact, that I was able ot get Puglsey under control, and help Marc with Milo. For once, I felt pretty good about myself :-) Unfortunately, this was afer Milo had already acted up so much that it caused him to bite his tongue and bleed a little...poor baby...

But all in all, it was a tough, but good class. Our assignment for next week...practice the whistle and practice the down.

The Adventures of My Two Puggles: Second Class

So...



let's recap, what was the homework? Get your pups to stay for THREE minutes while you leave the room. So, all week, I focused on them. I came home from work, trained them. Ate, trained them. Woke up, trained them... House Church (weekly Bible Study), cancelled that and stayed home to train them. Saturday, cancelled a photoshoot to train them. Sunday, cancelled Church to train them. Monday I was off from work, guess what I did...BINGO!



Did they have it? I must say, they were a great improvement! But could they do 3 minutes? Milo? At best he could do it so long as he could see me... adn Pugs? ... No. He doesn't like sitting! He shifts... like his bum is too boney. My poor baby :-(



Tuesday approaches...



I wake up this morning preparing for work and all I can think is, "oh no... tonight's the night they embarass mommy".



We get there, warm up with walking the track...over and over. And for whatever reason, Sherri is not convinced our babies "trust" us. So, she gathers all of us up, and sends us outside to her obstacle course. First the 'bridge' then the 'A-frame" and then 'tunnel'. But you can't do one until you pass the first...



Please note: It rained the whole day prior to our evening class. Also, none of us knew we would be going outside (in a ranch!). Can you say, fully drenched muddy WHITE shoes???? And poor Tanner's Mommy was wearing really nice UGGs... so sad. And frustrating.



I swear, Sherri had it in for me - SWEAR! I thought Milo (my pup for the night) was doing GREAT. He was walking the bridge - though my command was supposed to be 'walk' and I said '

'let's go'...strike 1. He did the A-frame well (two sheets of wood with grooves shaped in the form of an A and reaching a height of 7 feet at it's peak) - though I was supposed to shout 'Climb' and I said "are you ready? let's go!"...strike 2. And when he did the tunnel...I think I got it together, but at this point, I think Sherri was just disgusted with my lack of commands!



Listen! Milo did GREAT I'll have you know! He ran the tunnel no problem - except that one time he stopped mid-way to pee in the centre (HAHAHA - that's our little secret), I felt no need to yell or scold or double snap the chain!

Whatever! Afterwards, we went back in, did the walking drills again. Then, we learned the newest command: "come". Sounds simple eh? Riiiight! The task is twofold, firstly, they must learn the immediate knee jerk come, this is when you are walking and something (danger) is baiting your pup. What do you do, give him the false sense of "go ahead" and as soon as he takes it, snap that chain and pull him back saying "come" and them wait for him and praise him when he gets to you. Then, you turn and walk away. Inadvertently, I praised and turned at the same time. BIG NO! Sherri retorts by saying, I knew i could find something to yell at you about! And sets me up as an example of what not to do. Yup... you must praise face to face first, then turn and walk back together! Second, the passive come. You place him in a stay position, walk 50 paces out and wail your right arm like a propeller and excitedly yell "come!". So, when we practiced this, well didn't Milo just put me to shame! I'm there wailing my hands and yelling come, and he just sits there...as if he's the poster child for "stay"! What a little good for nothing! Which then became my fault because I was waiving him in big enough and blah blah blah...

Anyway, after this kerfuffle, Sherri then says, "alright, line your dogs up! We're going to review their stay from last week"...Dum Dum Duuuum!!! Here is the moment of truth. Did all my hard work from last week pay off? We line the dogs up, Sherri tells us to put them in a hard stay which means dubble jerk their chain so they know we mean business, then turn and leave the room...So Marc and I do what they say, and walk to the door holding our breath that Sherri won't call our boys' names. We wait, and wait, and wait, and then she says okay everyone, come back in! YAY!!! The test is over, the minutes have passed and LIFE IS GOOD!!! Yay! My boys passed! WooHoo!!!! I'm so proud of them! Phew! but then...

Your task for next week: Work on the come! Till next time!