I went to my first discipleship meeting with my friend Thea yesterday. We spoke of the process, and the meeting today. She spoke of how I and Marc were doing something really amazing here (I still do not see it that way but...), and we spoke about family and friends and whether they have been supportive etc. I told her, all in all, everyone’s been pretty good! Some would “prefer” international adoption a touch more than CAS, and I understand where they’re coming from.They’re concerned about pre existing “issues” … FAS, drug abuse, autism, DS etc… but God has a plan for Marc and I… and truthfully… I don’t know the “end” of that plan per se. What I do know, is the peace I’m feeling regarding CAS, is good. It’s likely the closest thing to “good” I’ve been feeling the last couple of months. And although I am not ruling International out, I’m also not actively pursuing it… and we’re okay with that. And although we haven’t “closed” the door on IVF – with the new “procedure” they’re recommending, we’re also not actively pursuing/talking about that.
What we do speak of, is CAS… is this process… is the home we want to make, what we want to “fill” in that home, the siblings we would be willing to take, what we would like to do when we finally find our baby… the trips we’d like to have our child encounter…how we’d encourage bonding in the early stages… these are the things we’ve spoken about.
And I feel good. Really… at peace.
So… we know the process is going to be lengthy, and scary… and as best as we can anticipate, we also know there will be pain – especially with this short listing stuff.
But we know there is something at work here. And we know God is with us. And we know… at the end, we will be providing this little one – or ones, with a life they would not have otherwise had, and in “exchange” this little one will be fulfilling our deepest desires of having someone to love, and care for, and call our own…
Looking forward to this journey
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